HIGH FINANCE

Stalker chortled at a cod piece in the national paper of record on a layman's guide to complex financial terms.

This happily preceded the subsequent turmoil that assailed the UK banking sector in September.

Cheap money – money that seems so cheap to you because you have so much of it.

Spot shares – Shares owned by a dog.

Hang Seng – Aggressive mood in Asian markets.

Stock cube – A small block of shares in hot water.

And Stalker's favourite:

Fungible security - The comforting thought that if it all goes horribly wrong you can always get a job on a mushroom farm.

Comforting indeed!