Fr Zak: giving out over a pint.

The Scene:  The living room of the parish priest house, Boggy Island.
Father Ned is at a table reading a magazine.  Father Zak is slumped in his corner chair.  Father Boogle, also at the table, is bored.

Father Boogle: "What's that you're reading then Ned?"
Father Ned:  "It's a magazine that Father Eamon gave me. He's not very happy."
Father Zak:  "Drink!"
Fr Boogle:  "Why's that then Ned?"
Fr Ned:  "He gave me it to read saying that you can draw some ecclesiastical parallels with it."
Fr Boogle: "Great - there's a colouring page?  I'll get my crayons."
Fr Zak:  "Drink!"
Fr Ned:  "No Boogle.  He has mushrooms growing in bags in his prothesis."

Fr Boogle:  "Woah!  No wonder he's not happy.  I think I had that once.  Doctor Kieran gave me some ointment."  (Coyly:)  "Mrs Boyle applied it for me."

(After a brief moment of confusion.)  Fr Ned:  "No Boogle.  He grows mushrooms and says that the trials and tribulations of this can be likened to those of life in general.  Mind you, he is quite mad."

Fr Boogle:  "Yeah.  There's lots of mad priests about.  Every time I make visits in the parish, people tell me they're sick of the sight of mad priests calling round.  There must be hundreds of them."

Fr Zak:  "Drink!"
Fr Ned:  (Patiently:) "Yes Boogle.  Father Eamon is unhappy about some Dutchman who says there are dark skies in the UK."
Boogle looking out of the window at the constant drizzle of rain: "Yeah.  No skate-boarding today."
Fr Ned:  "No Boogle, he means it's going to be difficult."
Fr Boogle:  "He's right there.  The wheels will get stuck in the mud."
Fr Zak:  "Drink!"
(After a long draw out of breath:) Fr Ned: "Father Eamon says things are bad enough without someone making out things are worse than they are."
Fr Boogle: "Quite right.  It's bound to stop raining soon."
Fr Ned: "Father Eamon says someone should tell the Dutchman what they think of his article."
Fr Zak:  "Drink!"
Fr Ned: "Father Zak - can you think of a suitable comment for the Dutchman and would you like a cup of tea?"
Fr Zak:  "**** *** !" (Censored.)
Fr Ned:  "That would be fair enough I suppose.  What about the cup of tea?"